Day 1
Go Rock Climbing
Sometimes the simplest idea is the best one, and an undemanding day climb remains one of the easiest and most convenient ways to spend an afternoon with your kids. For very young children—or until the weather improves—consider starting out on a climbing wall at a local gym or outdoor retailer. Most offer introductory lessons, along with harness and climbing shoe rentals.
Online retailers like Three Ball Climbing (threeballclimbing.com) and To The Top (tothetopwalls.com) offer smaller, less-intimidating walls that you can install at home to practice and help build confidence.
“Kids are natural climbers,” says Margaret Wheeler, President of the American Mountain Guides Association. “That’s what they do before you ever tie them into a rope. Kids get scared going up high, though, so keep it fun and lighthearted and they’ll usually ask to go up again.”
On the first attempt, let your kid climb just above the ground, then ask them to lean back and test the rope. “That way,” Wheeler says, “they’ll know the rope can hold them if they lose their grip.” You can also start on smaller cliffs—they’ll have an easier time reaching the top, and will be more inclined to graduate to a bigger challenge.
When buying gear, look for a top-quality brand like Camp (camp-usa.com) or Petzl (petzl.com). Both sell kids’ climbing helmets, rock shoes, and children’s harnesses. Look for well-trained mentors. “A single-pitch instructor is the one that’s nationally recognized,” Wheeler says. “People who’ve gone through that will know exactly how to help out a kid who’s stuck or scared.”
Day 2
Go Instrument Shopping
Schools with a strong musical program may give students an academic edge, Long Island University researchers say. They found that second-graders taking twice-weekly piano lessons at school performed significantly better on vocabulary tasks than those who didn’t play a note. “The piano students improved their listening skills with music, and that may have helped them hear and store vocabulary words more efficiently for future use,” says study author Joseph Piro, Ph.D. While private lessons should do the trick, Piro believes that children may be more eager to learn an instrument if the instruction occurs in a group setting, such as in a class or at school.
Day 3
Make a Healthy Grilled Cheese
"All children love grilled cheese sandwiches, and my kids especially love this version," says Wolfgang Puck, owner of more than 100 restaurants worldwide. "And so do I."
This recipe's a favorite with all four of Puck’s sons, who range in age from 2 to 19. What you'll need:
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1 Tbsp mayonnaise
4 slices sourdough or whole-wheat bread, cut 1/3-inch thick
6 thin slices Fontina cheese (or Swiss or mozzarella)
4 fresh basil leaves
2 slices prosciutto
1 large organic Roma tomato, cut into 8 slices
How to make it:
1. Preheat panini maker, double-sided indoor grill, or cast-iron skillet set to medium heat.
2. Mix together mustard and mayonnaise. Brush one side of each slice of bread with mixture. On plain side, stack 2 slices cheese, 2 basil leaves, 1 slice prosciutto, and tomato slices. Sprinkle tomato with freshly ground black pepper. Layer on remaining cheese and top with remaining bread slice, mayo side facing outward.
3. Cook sandwiches side by side in panini maker or indoor grill, about 3 to 4 minutes, or until cheese has melted and bread is brown and crispy. If you're using a skillet, place a heavy pan on top of sandwich to weigh it down. Cut sandwiches diagonally. Serves 2.
Day 4
Go Snowboarding
By now your average teen is probably more interested mimicking the aerial theatrics of Sean White than actually mastering the basics. Help them play catchup by enrolling in a beginners’ snowboarding class. Many ski lodges (such as those owned by Vail Resorts) now offer them. While you can rent the snowboards and pads, you’ll also want to pack a thick pair of thermal underwear, a heavy fleece and jacket, and multiple pairs of socks. Look for brands like Burton , Under Armour , and DC . Shops like dogfunk and The House sell everything you need. Don’t neglect goggles, either—few things will halt your progress faster than a face full of powder. A good pair of Oakleys will run you about $90.
When you’re ready to get onboard, check ahead to get a read on the recent snowfall. Most snowboarders consider powder—a light, untouched layer of freshly fallen snow—to be the ultimate surface, but crud (when the powder gets packed) and crust (when the top layer hardens) are acceptable, and sometimes even preferred, when starting out. First-timers should stick with slopes marked by green circles (elementary) and blue squares (intermediate). Those black diamonds may look enticing, but keep away until you’ve at least comfortably navigated an intermediate challenge.
Day 5
Start Reading Food Labels—With Your Kids
"Contrary to popular belief, kids can learn to make wise food choices," says David Katz, M.D., M.P.H., an associate professor of public health at Yale University and a father of five. "Make it easier by having a wide variety of foods available, but only the healthiest options in each category."
Example: They can pick whatever drink they want, as long as it doesn't contain high-fructose corn syrup or exceed 100 calories per serving. Another trick: Steal a page from Eat This, Not That! For Kids and use visual comparisons to demonstrate how much sugar or salt is in their favorite foods. If you show them the three teaspoons of sugar in each bowl of Froot Loops, they'll think twice.
Day 6
Fight Cynicism
As kids struggle to form identities in our sometimes violent, often materialistic, always tech-obsessed world, they can become more self-centered and less sympathetic. "You'll never turn your son or daughter back into the wide-eyed child they were just a few years ago," says C. Andrew Ramsey, M. D., an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Columbia University. "But you can chip away at their cynicism by calling them to action." Hal Edward Runkel, family therapist and author of ScreamFree Parenting, brought his young son to traffic court with him so the boy could see accountability in action. Likewise, Ramsey says, the simple act of volunteering for a day can pay dividends. Kids will see they can make a difference, and they'll be inspired by other people out there doing it every day.
Day 7
Focus Your Kid’s Energy
Maybe you don't want a hat-trick-scoring, scholarship-winning, oboe-playing phenom of a child, but our competitive society makes them think otherwise. This explains why so many kids have trouble focusing, says Ramsey. Make sure your kids understand your expectations. Explain that developing skills is about mastery. "Whether your child's role model is Tom Brady or Beyoncé, let them know they ascended to lofty heights because they mastered one skill," Ramsey says. "Learn to go through one door and many others will open for you; try to go through five doors at once and you'll go nowhere."
Day 8
Keep Them in the Game
If you want your kids to stick with things, let them quit, Runkel says. "Just make sure they taste the full pain of quitting." When Runkel's son was 8, he wanted to quit baseball. Runkel told him, "Sure, but you have to tell your teammates and coach." The boy couldn't do it. He's played seven seasons now. This works with schoolwork, too: "If your kid wants to give up because a project is too hard, say, 'OK. Tell your teacher you quit and you'll take whatever grade is appropriate.' Trust me, they'll stick it out."
Day 9
Stay Out of It
Unless one of your kids is dangling the other out the window, don't say a word. You're not listening to only one side, and you're not acting as moderator. "As soon as you become involved, they're no longer interested in finding a solution; they're interested in getting you on their side," says Anthony Wolf, a child psychologist and author of Mom, Jason's Breathing on Me! The Solution to Sibling Bickering. If they keep pestering you, tell them that if you step in it'll be a problem for both of them. Stick with your rigid neutrality, and they'll learn that pleading their case is fruitless. More important, they'll learn to compromise quickly.
Day 10
Prepare For Emergencies
You've already taught them what 911 is, where the fire extinguishers are, and the fire escape plan, right? That's the easy stuff. The tricky part is teaching them calm, Runkel says. "In a crowd, tell them to look for people they can trust—the calm and present authority figures. Follow their commands. Avoid panic and people who are panicking."
The best time to talk about emergencies, Runkel says, is during dinner. "Asking kids around the dinner table in a mature tone makes them feel more grown-up. And you want a grown-up level of responsiveness from them during an emergency."
Day 11
Expand Your Kid’s Vocabulary
Researchers advise using a diverse vocabulary with kids, but that doesn't mean you should start reciting Herodotus. Instead, provide creative and dramatic play-by-play for both your activities and surroundings. Don't be shy about using unfamiliar words—children understand a lot of grown-up language just from context. This is a great job for Dad: In families with two working parents, fathers had greater impact than mothers on their children's language development between ages 2 and 3, according to a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology.
Day 12
Embrace Routine
Start your kids on these two now; they're proven long-term stress busters, says Steven Atkins, Psy.D., clinical associate for Dartmouth Medical School's child and adolescent psychology division. "Research has shown that the capacity to manage your materials is directly correlated to how successful you'll be as you get older. Plus, not having routine is extremely disconcerting. Under stress, we all regress to less-sophisticated behavior." (Read: We become cranky.)
First, cultivate their organizational skills by giving them something to take back and forth to preschool. "Have your kids get in the habit of putting, say, a folder in the same spot before they go to bed," Atkins says. Ask them, "Doesn't it make you happy not to have to search for your folder every morning? Isn't it nice not to be angry that you can't find it?" They'll soon find a regular spot for the toys they always misplace as well.
Second, throw cleanup parties. "Say, 'Let's see who can pick up the most toys and put them in their correct bins,'" Atkins says. "Kids understand the concept that even toys need to go to bed, and competition is always a good thing." And when they win? Act like it's the Super Bowl.
Day 13
Help Them Accept Criticism
Kids face criticism from many sources: peers, teachers, coaches, and you. "Let them feel it," Runkel says. "Don't say, 'Oh, don't worry about it.' The lesson here is criticism has only as much power as we give it." Acknowledge that criticism hurts and ask your kids: Is it accurate? If so, what can you learn from it? "Also, give them time to process it," Runkel says. "If you say, 'When you act this way, you're not very likable,' it may not register right away. But they'll be thinking about it."
Day 14
Take a Volunteer Vacation
When your kids outgrow Disney World, think about signing the family up for a much different kind of vacation—one that promotes personal responsibility, environmental awareness, and hard work. The American Hiking Society needs volunteers year-round to help clean up state parks and maintain thousands of miles of trail systems in some of the most scenic and well-trod parts of the country.
In North Dakota, for example, volunteers work on the North Country National Scenic Trail in Sheyenne National Grasslands. In the Virgin Islands National Park, the American Hiking Society maintains a long stretch of 300-year-old colonial trails. Families often work within footsteps of pristine white sand beaches and rest at a campground in Cinnamon Bay. Not a bad reward for a day’s work.
Before you commit to a vacation, check to make sure that it’s an easy-to-moderate work grade and is open to kids 13 and up (some are strictly 18 and over). For most trips, the American Hiking Society covers only transportation to and from the airport, as well as campground fees and the occasional meal.
Day 15
Go Geocaching
Combine your kids’ love for treasure hunting and high-tech gear by enlisting them in a geocaching adventure. For the uninitiated, geocaching involves using GPS tracking devices to locate hidden containers in the outdoors. While the rewards are slim—most capsules contain only a logbook—the fun is in the pursuit, and gives parents an opportunity to teach basic navigation and orienteering skills.
At last tally, more than 1.2 million caches were buried worldwide. Find one near you by checking online at geocaching.com—the official cache hunt site. Enter your location and the site will give you several sets of coordinates to pick from. Punch one into your GPS and follow the route guidance until you reach the cache.
The capsules are often cleverly hidden and can be difficult to find. For that reason, experts recommend starting with the lowest grade of difficulty. “Even the easiest caches can be a challenge,” says Jen Sonstelie, spokesperson for geocaching.com. “The geocache could be just a plastic container hidden in a pile of sticks. But on a higher grade of difficulty, it could be disguised as a single pinecone hidden in a field with hundreds of other pinecones.”
If you have an iPhone, you can download the Geocaching.com app ($9.99) that lets you search, navigate, and comment on caches you’ve successfully found. Before you start hiking, however, check the recent logs to ensure the cache is still there. “The entries should have a smile icon next to them,” Sonstelie says. “If the last five logs were unsuccessful, it’s possible the cache went missing.”
Day 16
Build An Igloo
Snow forts are for amateurs. If you’re looking for real winter fun, build an igloo instead. The rounded snow huts have been around for centuries, and children of all ages will enjoy constructing—and eventually deconstructing—the giant cold weather abodes.
If you want to make a true igloo, you’ll need access to plenty of dry, hard-packed snow. The diameter shouldn’t exceed 10 feet—anything larger is highly likely to collapse. Create the entrance by digging about 18 inches into the ground, then build the dome on top in a spiral shape.
For an easy alternative, try the Eskimold (eskimold.com)—a series of plastic tubs that form interlocking igloo pieces. You can use wetter snow to fill the mold. Just don’t overdo it on the square footage. “You’ll want the interior to measure about six feet in diameter,” says Eskimold designer Howard Graham. “If you go any bigger, the igloo may wind up being too much work and your kids could get discouraged.”
Day 17
Leave a Family Legacy
When you leave this world, so does part of your history. Make sure your children know their roots by documenting your genealogy, and have your wife do the same. Try the program Family Tree Maker, and get access to Internet ancestry databases at ancestry.com. Set aside time to tell stories of your adventures, too, whether it be winning the MVP award in high-school baseball or motorcycling the Pan-American Highway after college. You’ll live on in their memories, not just as Dad, but as a legend, too—the kind of man they admire.
Day 18
Prep for Family Time
Start cultivating your end-of-day energy as soon as you arrive in the morning by taking 10-minute breaks after every 90 to 120 minutes of work. Do whatever you need to do to disengage from prolonged heavy concentrated attention: Eat some fruit, go for a walk, meditate. Long term, you should review your work situation. Mental stamina is optimized by effective time management, daily challenges, and a clear sense of direction. Are these present? They're necessary for your overall well-being.
Day 19
Say No to Drugs
Give them the straight dope: "Here's what you're going to encounter. Not might. You will encounter this. I want you to be aware of what these drugs look like and what they do so you're ready." Be as specific as possible, as often as possible. (If you don't know everything about roofies, Ecstasy, or crank, Google them.) That's how drugs go from mystical to matter-of-fact. "I talk about drugs in passing with my kids all the time," says Runkel. "I ask, 'Do you know what a joint is? You want to know what it does to you?' Bring it up again and again until it's, 'Yes, we know, Dad. Shut up already!'" Of course, they might decide to sample something anyway, but at least they'll know the facts when it comes time to make a very important choice.
Day 20
Help Your Kid Stay Motivated
Focus on the good. Praise can be a powerful motivator, especially when it's specific (e. g., say "Your description of life in covered wagons is vivid" rather than "Nice job"). Also, praise what matters: effort and persistence (e. g., "I'm proud of the way you've stuck with this math assignment; I know it's challenging"). Encourage realistic goals. Your daughter might have her sights set on a spelling-bee championship, but make sure she understands that you're pleased more by her hard work than a medal. By encouraging kids' sense of accomplishment, you'll also help them build self-confidence.
Foster a culture of learning. Make a habit of discussing what your kids are learning at school at the dinner table. Spend less time watching television and more time reading together. Most important, share your own enthusiasm about what you learn each day. In the end, your actions speak much louder than what you say...or pay.
Advice courtesy of Deborah Stipek, Ph.D., dean of the School of Education at Stanford University and author of Motivated Minds: Raising Children to Love Learning.
Day 21
Give Your Kids a Green Thumb
Planting a tree isn't just about saving the planet, it can also save you money: The American Public Power Association has found that planting trees to shade a home can reduce air-conditioning costs by up to 50 percent. Find out which tree will thrive best in your climate at arborday.org, and then plant one using this three-step guide, provided by John Englert of the USDA National Resources Conservation Service.
1. Dig a hole that's at least two times the diameter of the container your tree is in, and one inch less deep. Most roots grow out, not down, and this will allow the roots to breathe.
2. Remove the tree from the container and place it in the hole. Begin filling the hole with the soil you dug out, adding peat moss or composted leaves if the soil is sandy. This will aerate the soil and help the roots retain water and nutrients.
3. Cover a three-foot diameter at the base of the tree with three to four inches of mulch. Soak the soil around the tree roots with water, and repeat every two weeks throughout the first growing season (or as needed, depending on rainfall).
