Don't go to quacks for counselling

Don't go to quacks for counselling
BUSINESS MATTERS (BEYOND THE BOTTOM LINE) By Francis J. Kong (The Philippine Star) Updated September 18, 2010 12:00 AM

A husband and wife who were married for 15 years went to a counselor. The counselor asked them what the problem was. The wife went into a tirade of every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She went on and on and on – until the counselor stood up, went around the desk, embraced her and kissed her passionately. The woman shut up and sat quietly in a daze.

The counselor turned to the husband and said, “That’s what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?”

The husband thought for a moment and replied, “Well, I can get her here Monday and Wednesday; but Friday, I play golf.”

A lot of people go to quacks for marriage advice. And many of them end up with their marriage worse than before.

Tabloids today scream with “Infidelity rules!” and headlines of famous celebrities divorcing. Maybe the reason why many young people today prefer to remain single is because what they see in their own homes does not inspire them to pursue marriage. This is sad. The truth is, there are so many successful marriages. They just don’t make the headlines, simply because they don’t sell. If you are single and you don’t want to get married for fear that your marriage will not be successful, let me reassure you that, in my line of work where I meet people all the time, I see many successful marriages all over the place.

I was given the privilege to speak in the Executive Couples Marriage Conference sponsored by the Christ’s Commission Fellowship community and held at the Baguio Country Club last weekend. More than 150 couples attended, most of whom are in business, and are enjoying a healthy and vibrant marriage. It’s such a blessing to see that those with strong relationships continue to learn and to work to make their marriage stronger, and those with their marriage on the rocks are helped and healed by what they learn in the conference.

Last Tuesday, I brought the Ilocana to Hong Kong as a treat for our 30th wedding anniversary. It has been 30 full years of a happy relationship that has produced three children we are both so proud of. We normally bring the kids with us in our trips abroad, but this time, I decided it should be just the two of us. Romantic isn’t it? And quite pragmatic too. Part of my frequent flyer miles is about to expire.

Our kids prepared a surprise wedding anniversary celebration for us last week. Friends and family were present to greet us. As I looked at every face in the place, I noted that many of the couples there were those who went through extreme challenges, but whose marriage was healed and restored when they sought God and included Him in their relationship. Today, their families continue to grow in love and affection for one other. These couples aren’t perfect yet, but they sure are enjoying fullness of living. But theirs are stories that will never make the headlines.

The party the kids threw for us was simple; the food wasn’t elaborate, but it was delicious. What made it special was that the kids paid for it, and their friends all contributed for it. It was made most special when my daughter Hannah sent me this text message the day after: “Hi mom n dad. Thanks for showing us kids how great a God-centered marriage can be.”

That’s one of the greatest compliments parents could ever receive from their kids. Because of what she did, I’ve decided to increase Hannah’s allowance. But the thing is, she’s 24 and is an entrepreneur herself. Boy, am I blessed or what?