How To Change Your Attitude When You Can't Change Your Situation

Healthy Living

How To Change Your Attitude When You Can't Change Your Situation

www.ideapod.com

Epictetus said it more than 2,000 years ago: 

"People are disturbed, not by things, but by the principles and opinions which they form concerning things. When we are hindered, or disturbed, or grieved, let us never attribute it to others, but to ourselves; that is, to our own principles and opinions."

Albert Ellis, founder of rational emotive behavior therapy, says that "how" people react to events is determined by their "view" of the events, not the events themselves

This is great to know that our perception of the world determines our happiness, but what if our view of the world is inherently negative?

The first step is admitting to yourself that you're not happy and that you're more negative than you need to me. Realize that this is a choice, and that you can choose to be optimistic.

You can choose to use positive words, hang around positive people, and a say positive daily affirmations.

As time passes, you will notice a real shift in your attitude.

11 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company

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11 Warning Signs You’re in Bad Company

http://www.powerofpositivity.com/

Other people have a huge impact on our lives. The people we spend time with can change our mood, change how we spend our time, and change our perspective on the world – even our perspective on ourselves. This is why it’s important to invest in relationships that are beneficial to you, with people who support you as you are and even help you to become better.

Sometimes this means being critical about who you spend time with and who you invest your emotions in.

Sometimes it can be difficult to tell if a relationship has become toxic. Once we’re invested in a relationship, whether it’s with a friend, significant other, or family member, we’re reluctant to pull away. Our feelings, particularly when we think we need someone, cloud our judgment. Even if the effects are obvious to others, you may not fully realize the negative impact someone is having on you. Even worse, you may blame yourself and rationalize the other person’s behavior.

The truth is that you’ll always be better on your own than with someone who only brings negativity to your life. If you often find yourself unhappy, not confident, and stressed around a particular person, you need to ask yourself if that person is truly good company. Look out for the 11 following warning signs that you’re in bad company. Ending relationships that produce these signs can help you to be your best self and live a happier life.

11 Signs You’re In Bad Company:

1. You don’t feel like yourself

A toxic relationship can be draining in many ways, and one of the most damaging is when it drains you of your authentic self. If someone wants you to be someone else, then they don’t truly care for you as the person you are. If you constantly feel pressure to change things about yourself or suppress your natural interests in order to please someone, then they are not a healthy person to be around.

2. They are overwhelmingly negative

There’s nothing wrong with some complaints or sarcastic jokes, but be wary of friends who never take a break from being negative. Are they constantly insulting others (or you)? Do you feel like you have to be negative too in order to get along with them? Negative people are often projecting their own problems onto the world around them. If this is a close friend, you may choose to help that person work through their problems and regain a more balanced perspective.

Make sure you never let someone else’s negativity alter your perspective, though. If you need to, give yourself some space from this person.

3. They don’t make time for you

A good relationship requires regular interaction and some effort from both sides. A friend or romantic partner who doesn’t make time for you isn’t providing either of those. If someone can only fit you into their schedule when it’s convenient for them, they’re not making you a priority. You shouldn’t need to make an effort or sacrifice time for someone who will put in no effort for you.

4. It’s all about them

When you have conversations with this person, are they balanced? Do they listen to your feelings and opinions? If a person only wants to talk about themselves and has no empathy for your feelings, they’re not really in a relationship with you; they just want a sounding board. You’re probably not getting anything out of this kind of relationship.

5. They’re unsupportive

A good friend or partner will support you in your goals and will be happy for you when you succeed. If they don’t seem to care about your achievements or, even worse, if they downplay things that are important to you, you’re probably in bad company.

A good friend will share in your excitement and pride, and they’ll encourage you to keep doing great things.

6. They’re always envious of you

There’s a difference between praising good things that you have or that you’ve done and acting envious. If a friend is acting jealous without actually seeming happy for you, they can make you feel guilty instead of happy about positive things and experiences. This is a toxic behavior that will add negativity to your life.

7. They’re possessive of you

In a good relationship, whether it’s with a friend, family member, or significant other, the other person will want you to lead a full and rich life in which you try new experiences and broaden your horizons. When someone else becomes possessive of you and your time, they’re not doing that. In fact, possessiveness is one of the top signs of a toxic relationship.

If they don’t want you spending time with other people and are constantly suspicious of other relationships, there’s a strong chance that you should be ending that relationship.

8. They lie to you

Trust is an important element of a healthy relationship. If someone repeatedly lies to you, they’re violating your trust and disrespecting your relationship. They may also be covering up something about themselves. There’s no need for you to continue giving your trust to someone who has repeatedly violated it.

9. They manipulate you

Some people are very perceptive and know how to manipulate you to do what they want. 

They may only be kind to you when they need something, they may make you feel guilty so that you help them, or they may even emotionally blackmail you. If you notice that you’re doing things you don’t actually want to do for someone else, this is a toxic relationship.

10. They’re a bad influence

Someone who pushes you to try new things and grow as a person can be a great friend. However, that shouldn’t be confused with someone who pushes you to make choices that you aren’t comfortable with. After you’ve done something at the urging of a friend, ask yourself: “Am I glad I did that?” “Did I feel comfortable?” “Was that something that fit my morals and beliefs?” If you find yourself answering “no” to those questions, then your friend is likely a bad influence.

You should never let someone pressure you or guilt-trip you into making bad choices or doing things that aren’t comfortable for you. If your friend can’t respect your right to make your own choices, then they’re bad company.

11. You feel exhausted around them

A toxic relationship can take a lot out of you. You may feel constantly on edge around that person, and you may feel relieved when they leave. This is because in a toxic relationship, you often have to make a constant effort to please that person, and you likely feel like you can’t relax and be yourself. If this is the case, you need to listen to your feelings and recognize that being around this person isn’t good

7 Things to Remember When Negative Energy Surrounds You

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7 Things to Remember When Negative Energy Surrounds You

http://www.powerofpositivity.com/

Negativity can affect every area of your life. Identifying negative energy and thought patterns are an important part of challenging yourself and those around you to a more realistic viewpoint. It can improve your relationships and your overall outlook on life.

Keep these things in mind when you find yourself surrounded by negative energy and use them to help you move out of the negative space.

7 Things to Keep in Mind When Negative Energy Surrounds You:

Find the Source of the Negative Energy

Question your thoughts and the thoughts influencing you. Before you can take action to decrease the negativity that surrounds you, you must question the negative energy to find the source of it. Once you do that, you can begin to remove yourself from the emotion surrounding you.

Simply trying to eliminate negative energy doesn’t do much for the reason it’s present in the first place. If you don’t get to the heart of the matter it is likely to keep recurring, so keep questioning until you do.

Focus on Solutions

The next logical step in questioning and understanding the negative energy around you is to focus on how to eradicate it, and prevent it in the future.

Why focus on the solution?

The answer is simple: you end up receiving more of what you focus on. With that basic principle in mind, it makes sense to focus on the solution rather than the negative energy and problems associated with it.

Surround Yourself with Positive People

Every day we come in contact with a variety of different people. Some of these people make us happier, and others may have the opposite effect. Who we allow to influence us is up to us and choosing to spend more time with positive people will help prevent a buildup of negative energy around us.

Accept Possibility and Release Expectation

Happy people aren’t happy because bad things don’t happen to them, they are happy because they know how to handle the bad things better. Someone who is happy has similar challenges to those that are not happy. The difference is that they release expectation of what might happen, and focus to create their best possible situation – no matter whether it ends up good or bad.

Knowing that life could deal you some good cards and some bad ones, and releasing expectation makes it easier to work through situations because you are ready to accept whatever happens. The key is not dwell in situations where negative energy surrounds you and take action right away to move back into a positive space.

Show Yourself Compassion

No matter how bad things get, remember that the negative energy around you isn’t always about you. While you are responsible for the energy you create, the burden of negative energy of others shouldn’t be carried on your shoulders.

See the importance of this distinction, because if you can separate yourself from the negative energy of others, you can focus on getting to the heart of the matter logically, without allowing the emotion to latch onto you.

Focus

Sometimes when negative energy is coming at us from all directions, we have a hard time knowing what to do. It is so intense that it can paralyze us into inaction. Instead of tackling the big ball of negativity all at once, try doing one small thing. Just one.

Doing one thing will crack open a space in the negative energy for the positive to begin to shine. That little bit of positive will begin to build and your motivation to do more “things” will propel you to eliminating the harmful energy.

Accept It or Let It Go

With everything in our lives, whether positive or negative, we have two choices: to accept it or let it go. Accepting it means accepting the negative source to the point where you can begin to move through it. It doesn’t mean you are committed to allowing the negative energy to remain in and influence your life. Accepting it means handling the challenge and creating change.

When negative energy surrounds you, it’s obvious that change is needed. That doesn’t mean change will immediately occur or solve the problem. If the negativity persists you may see that it has become a toxic cycle that no longer serves you, and have to come to terms with letting it go.

In the end, you have to do what is right for you and your mental well-being and overall happiness. It isn’t easy to let go of things that used to matter. When they aren’t serving your highest good anymore and possibly even harming you, what choice do you have?

Become aware of the messages you are receiving throughout the day. Find the sources of negative messages and begin to eliminate them from your daily routine.  Learn to recognize the type of unhealthy thinking you are most likely to encounter. Start having an inner dialogue about how to handle these situations now, before you are in the moment. Knowing how you will handle the situation before it occurs, will help you when the time comes.

5 Techniques to Quiet Your Mind

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5 Techniques to Quiet Your Mind

http://www.powerofpositivity.com/

“Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart.” – Unknown

In many ways, the uncontrolled mind resembles a five year old child wanting to run amok through the city streets, only able to sit still for a few seconds before getting the urge to jump up again. If you allow your brain to continuously run a mile a minute without ever interjecting, it will only press on with the madness until you discover that your mind has slowly become a prison.

However, you can actually free your mind, even if it seems impossible in the beginning. 

Humans are very adaptable creatures, and pick up on new habits throughout their lives. So, in this way, our brains become rewired because we have installed a new operating system in our minds: chaos. To create a peaceful mind, you just need to revert back to your original nature of harmony and balance. Sound difficult? Well, here are some effective techniques to help you regain control of your mind again.

5 techniques to quiet the mind:

1. Focus on the positive aspects of yourself and your surroundings.

In short, we have collectively created the mass disorder and confusion we observe around us on a daily basis with our thoughts. We have all allowed negative thinking to prevail for many millennia, so the physical world is merely a product of our thoughts. By simply shifting your focus to what makes you happy, or what you’re thankful for, you can start to retrain your mind to think more positively. Consequently, you will start to feel more peaceful since you no longer put so much emphasis on the negativity you perceive within yourself and elsewhere.

Remember, energy flows where attention goes – you can achieve peace by creating awareness behind your thoughts.

2. Repeat peaceful words to yourself throughout your day.

Pay attention to your brain at this very moment…what kinds of thoughts do you observe? 

Most likely, you will notice that the majority of your thoughts center around what you have to do today, or what someone said that made you angry, or even degrading thoughts about yourself. Don’t feel bad, though; with so much negativity around us, maintaining a consistent positive mindset isn’t always easy. However, you can actually counter the negative, stress-inducing thoughts with simple, peaceful words.

Anytime you feel a bout of anxiety coming on, introduce calming words into your awareness, such as: Tranquil. Calm. Peaceful. Serenity. Light. Love. Relaxing. Breeze. Beach. The last two words in the sequence describe scenery, which you can do as well if it makes you feel peaceful. Words carry a lot of meaning and power, so use them to your advantage whenever you feel stressed out.

3. Meditate on a regular basis.

We suggest meditation a whole lot on our website, but for good reason. When you meditate, you stop the flow of thoughts bombarding your consciousness every second, and instead move into a space where stillness takes precedence. While you don’t have to turn off your brain to meditate, many people feel that their thoughts slow down incredibly, and they can observe themselves much easier with controlled breaths and closed eyes. Meditation simply brings awareness into the body, and makes it much easier to cope with daily challenges.

If you want to cultivate more peace in your mind and life, start meditating, or sitting quietly focusing on nothing but your breath for at least ten minutes a day on a daily basis. You will find that adopting a more peaceful mindset becomes much more attainable.

4. Live in the here and now.

Forget about the errands you have to run tomorrow after work, or the bills you have to pay next week, or the uncertainty of your future that you haven’t even gotten to yet. When you let thoughts like these ruminate, it can cause great dis-ease within the body, and even lead to anxiety, depression, chronic stress, and other serious problems. Most anxiety is caused by simply living in a time other than the one we have right now, so bring yourself back to the present whenever you feel your thoughts taking you elsewhere.

By allowing yourself to flow from one moment to the next, just as you did as a child, you will recapture what it means to feel true peace.

5. Leave the city for a while and reconnect with nature.

This could mean going on your lunch break in a nearby park, or going on a vacation to get away from the stress of daily life. Anything you can do to strengthen your bond with nature will greatly benefit your mind, and help you remember that we create most stress we feel in our mind and body. We originated in a place of pure harmony, and most of what we see around us is just a very persistent illusion. Remember that nature doesn’t struggle through life, and you don’t have to, either. Don’t get too caught up with the trivial matters of the material world, because you won’t find peace in numbers or possessions.

Truthfully, peace resides within your heart already, but Mother Earth can help you remember this by providing solace from the strains of modern society.

“There’s no Wi-Fi in the forest, but I promise you will find a better connection.” – Unknown

Gadgets

5 Tips to Clean Your Cell Phone (Trust Us, You Need To!)

By All You Magazine 
 Healthy Living 

                                               
                                            How to Clean Your Cell Phone

 

Did you know? Your cell phone-you know, that thing you're constantly holding to your cheek and tapping away at-has 18 times as much bacteria on it as a toilet seat. Since we're in the process of spring cleaning our homes, we decided now was the perfect time to de-germ our phones, too.

• First things first. Before you get into cleaning mode, research your phone. "It's always a good idea to do a quick search for cleaning instructions for your model with the cellphone manufacturer," says Lori Philbin from republicwireless.com. "Some companies, like Apple for example, use glass on both sides of the device, so you wouldn't want to use alcohol to clean it." You should also turn off your phone, remove the case and the battery if you're able to before cleaning. And if your phone is cracked, you shouldn't attempt to clean it yourself, since you could permanently damage it. 

• Make a DIY cleaner. Do you have a phone with a keypad? (If so, lucky you-they're much easier to clean than touch screens!) David Bakke, a tech expert from moneycrashers.com suggests making a DIY cleaning formula of one-part water and one-part rubbing alcohol, then dipping a Q-tip in the mixture to lightly clean the keys. You can use that same formula to wipe down a plastic cellphone case. "Rub the area where your battery sits, as well as the battery cover, with a dry cotton swab," says Bakke. "You can use a water-dampened cotton swab to clean your camera lens, as well." In a pinch, a piece of tape is also handy for removing dust, crumbs or fingerprints from your keypad and other crevices on the device. 

• Prevent germs from taking over in the first place. You probably received a microfiber cloth in the box when you first bought your phone-use it to quickly erase fingerprints and smudges. If you lost yours, there are plenty to be found on Amazon (here's a two-pack for $5.49). PhoneSoap also makes an antibacterial polish ($14.95 at phonesoap.com) that prevents new germs from growing on your screen, so you won't have to wipe it down as frequently. Bonus: It also makes your phone crazy-shiny!

• Protect your touch screen. Since you're constantly touching your phone's display, it gets dirtier than any other part of the device. So using a screen protector is just as important for protecting against germs as it is for unsightly scratches. Look for one with an Olephobic layer, which repels oil and makes cleaning easier (try Ballistic Glass screen protectors, $15.95 for iPhone, Samsung Galaxy or Google Nexus at techarmor.com). We've also found inexpensive screen protectors on Amazon and eBay, where they frequently sell for just a few dollars each. 

• Clean your touch screen. Screen protectors are great, but if you've already been using your touchscreen without one, you need another way to de-germ it. Luckily, several companies make smartphone cleaners that are designed specifically for touch screens. Tech Armor sells a cleaning kit that includes pre-moistened cleaning wipes and a gel screen cleaner ($12.95 at techarmor.com) and iKlear has non-toxic cleaning products for a variety of electronic devices (prices start at $9.95, iklear.com). If you have a household of gadgets that need to be cleaned, you could save money in the long run by investing in a UV cleaner. While pricier, Phone Soap's UV Charger kills all the bacteria on your phone in five minutes ($59.95 at phonesoap.com) and Verilux makes a portable UV wand that can be quickly swiped over your device to sanitize it ($39.95 at verilux.com).

Food and Nutrition

8 alarmingly unhealthy snacks to avoid

By Melissa Breyer

 Fri, May 04 2012

 

A muffin with the same amont of calories as 10 chocolate donuts? A pretzel with more saturated fat than a Big Mac? Read this and weep.

Photo: mg7/iStockphoto

In a perfect world, everyone (kids included) would snack on carrots and kale chips. For those who do, hats off. But for everyone else, once you step away from the produce aisle, the choice of snacks can run the gamut from nutritionally vapid to downright deleterious. And sadly, consumers are often at the mercy of the processed food industry with its seductive yet unhealthy ingredients and powerful marketing machines. It’s all too easy to be swayed by items marketed specifically to children and parents — with enticing prices, misleading labels and the promise of convenience.

 

But when consumers start to dig a bit, they'll get a better picture of what’s going on inside the snacks they devour. Following is a snapshot of some of the worst offenders. The list is by no means exhaustive, but these examples provide some clues about what to look out for in the snack aisle.

 

1. Pop-Secret Homestyle Popcorn

Popcorn should be a great snack. It is a whole grain, naturally low in calories, and recent research has found that popped kernels are surprisingly high in antioxidants, even higher than many fruits and vegetables. So where did this super-snack go super-wrong? In the hands of food manufacturers, that’s where. How does this version compare to an order of McDonald’s Kids Fries? A serving of Pop-Secret has 70 more calories, 7 grams more total fat, 2 grams more saturated fat, 4.5 grams more trans fat, and 310 milligrams more sodium than the fried spuds.
 

Serving size: 2 tablespoons unpopped
Calories: 170
Total fat: 12 grams
Saturated fat: 2.5 grams
Trans fat: 4.5 grams
Sodium: 380 milligrams

 

2. Cheetos Puffs

Nobody ever said that oddly textured cheese snacks were exactly healthy, but something about the non-greasiness and airy quality of Cheetos Puffs (vibrant hue aside) seems like this product might more benign than, let’s say, super salty fried potato chips. But … look at that total fat! That sodium! That’s half the daily fat and sodium limit for many children, right there in 2 ounces of snack.

 

Serving size: 2 ounces (56 grams)
Calories: 320
Total fat: 20 grams
Saturated fat: 4 grams
Sodium: 700 milligrams
 

3. Yoplait Original 99% Fat Free (various fruit flavors)

Yogurt is another should-be healthy snack that has been hijacked by the food industry. Many yogurts are made to be low- or non-fat but are loaded with added sugar and other ingredients that are completely superfluous.

 

Whereas a product like Fage 0% is made of only “Grade A Pasteurized Skimmed Milk, and Live Active Yogurt Cultures,” Yoplait Original includes sugar, modified corn starch, high fructose corn syrup, kosher gelatin, and tricalcium phosphate — yet no live and active cultures, which is one of the main reasons to be eating yogurt in the first place!

 

Serving Size: 1 container (170 grams)
Calories: 170
Total fat: 1.5 grams
Saturated fat: 1 gram
Sodium: 85 milligrams
Sugars: 26 grams

 

4. Ritz Bits Cracker Sandwiches

Cheese and crackers sounds innocuous enough, but a single serving of these guys has more sodium and more than twice the saturated fat, as a small order of Chicken McNuggets — and more sugar than two Hershey’s Kisses.
 

Serving size: 1 single serve package (42 grams)
Calories: 220
Total fat: 13 grams
Saturated fat 4.5 grams
Sodium: 480 milligrams
Sugars: 6 grams

 

5. Auntie Anne's Pepperoni Pretzel Pocket 

Whole-wheat low-sodium pretzels are a good snack. Pepperoni Pretzel Pockets are a disaster. With more sodium, saturated fat and calories than a Big Mac, this one snack comes close to serving up the daily sodium and total fat limits for a child, not to mention the equivalent of nearly 3 teaspoons of granulated sugar.

 

Serving size: 1 pocket
Calories: 650
Total fat: 27 grams
Saturated fat 12 grams
Sodium: 1,120 milligrams
Sugars: 11 grams

 

6. Mott's Original Apple Sauce

This applesauce might just as well be called "high fructose corn syrup sauce," given that HFCS is the second ingredient after apples. Why do that to perfectly good apples? Apples aren't sweet enough?
 
Serving size: 1/2 cup (128g)
Calories: 110
Total fat: 0
Sugars: 25 grams
 
Instead, opt for the Mott's Natural Apple Sauce (No Sugar Added) version, which has only 50 calories and 12 grams of sugar.

 

7. Hostess Chocolate Pudding Pie

With the right spin, some could argue that a piece of pie isn’t the worst snack in the world. A small homemade slice filled with fruit and a light crust has some redeeming qualities. But the Hostess Chocolate Pudding Pie may, in fact, be the worst snack in the world! Why? In addition to its high fructose corn syrup, partially hydrogenated oils, beef fat and artificial colors, it has almost twice the sugar and fat of a similarly sized slice of homemade blueberry pie. And with its cheap price and easy portability, it’s all too easy to scarf down much of your daily calorie requirement in a few bites before you’ve even left the store.

Serving size: 1 pie (128g)
Calories: 520
Total fat: 24 grams
Saturated fat 12 grams
Sugars: 40 grams

 

8. Winchell’s Cranberry Nut Muffin 

What has the same amount of calories as four Winchell’s Chocolate Cake Doughnuts and nearly the same amount of fat as three hot dogs? One Winchell’s Cranberry Nut Muffin! To its credit, this muffin is not nutritionally void (5 grams of fiber and 14 grams of protein) but just beware: the calories, fat and sugar lodge this item more in the cupcake category than healthy snack family.
 

Serving size: 1 muffin
Calories: 670
Total fat: 37 grams
Saturated fat: 6 grams
Sodium: 640 milligrams
Sugars: 43 grams

 

How can you make better choices?

Look for snacks that are high in protein, vitamins, minerals, fiber, but relatively lower in calories, total fat, saturated fat (no trans fat), sugar and sodium.

 

Look at the ingredients on the label. Most of us know that ingredients are listed in order from most to least, and we may look to see where something like sugars or fats are listed in the order. But ingredient groups aren't required to be listed together. So something could contain corn syrup, cane sugar, and malt syrup in seemingly minor quantities toward the bottom of the list — but if you combine them together in a general group of "sugar," they quickly move to the top.

 

If a label boasts a product was made with whole grains, check to see where on the ingredient list the word "whole" is. If the first ingredient is "whole" wheat flour (or other grain), that's good. Sometimes whole grains make up only a tiny fragment of the item, and that's not good.

 

Also, it helps to know recommended nutritional limits. Many adults know what their numbers are, and here's what Mayo Clinic recommends for kids:

 

Boys and girls 4-8: 1,200-2,000 calories depending on activity, 25-35 percent calories from fat, 1,200 milligrams sodium.
Boys and girls 9-13: 1,400-2,600 calories depending on activity, 25-35 percent calories from fat, 1,300 milligrams sodium.
Boys and girls 14-18: 1,800-3,200 calories depending on activity, 25-35 percent calories from fat, 1,500 milligrams sodium.
 
Total fat for the categories above: 33 to 47 grams for 1,200 daily calories; 39 to 54 grams for 1,400 daily calories; 44 to 62 grams for 1,600 daily calories; 50 to 70 grams for 1,800 daily calories; 56 to 78 grams for 2,000 daily calories.