Today's Business Lessons
Amusing signs
By Francis J. Kong (The Philippine Star)
Updated September 15, 2012
Here’s an old material that still puts a smile on the reader’s face:
1. On a plumbing truck, the sign says: “We repair what your husband fixed.”
2. Pizza shop slogan: “7 days without pizza makes one weak (w-e-a-k).”
3. At a tire shop: “Invite us to your next blowout.”
4. On the door of a plastic surgeon’s office: “Hello, can we pick your nose?”
5. Sign at the psychic’s hotline: “Don’t call us, we’ll call you.”
6. At a towing company: “We don’t charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.”
7. Billboard on the side of the road: “Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs.”
8. On an electrician’s truck: “Let us remove your shorts.”
9. In a non-smoking area: “If we see smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.”
10. On the maternity room door: “Push, Push, Push.”
11. At an optometrist’s office: “If you don’t see what you’re looking for, you’ve come to the right place.”
12. On a taxidermist’s window: “We really know our stuff.”
13. In a podiatrist’s office: “Time wounds all heels.”
14. On a fence: “Salesmen welcome, dog food is expensive.”
15. Outside a muffler shop: “No appointment necessary, we’ll hear you coming.”
16. In a veterinarian’s waiting room: “Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
17. Inside a bowling alley: “Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop.”
18. In the front yard of a funeral home: “Drive carefully, we’ll wait.”
19. In a counselor’s office: “Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.”
I wish life would be simple – you put up a sign, and people would understand what you’re trying to say, or you put up a sign and things would be alright. But things just don’t work that way.
Suppose life could be like a computer?
• If you’ve messed up your life, you could press “Alt, Ctrl, Delete” and start all over!
• To get your daily exercise, you could just click on “Run”!
• If you needed a break from life, you could click on “Suspend”. Hit “any key” to continue life when ready.
• To get even with the neighbors, you could turn up the sound blaster.
• To “add/remove” someone in your life, you could click settings and control panel.
• To improve your appearance, you could just adjust the display settings.
• If life gets too noisy, you could turn off the speakers.
• When you lose your car keys, you could click on “Find”.
• “Help” with the chores could be just a click away.
• You wouldn’t need auto insurance. You could use your flash disk or external hard drive to recover from a crash.
• We could click on “Send”, and the kids would go to bed immediately.
• To feel like a new person, you could click on “Refresh”. Click on “Close” to shut up the kids and the spouse.
• To undo a mistake, you could click on “Back”.
• Is your wardrobe getting old? You could click “Update”.
• If you don’t like cleaning the litter box, you could click on “Delete”.
But life isn’t like a computer, and neither is putting up signs enough to put life in order or to achieve success.
Too many people wake up in the morning and allow their lives to run on auto-pilot. We need skills to live life successfully.
Attend seminars. Read books.
Attend church, and pay close attention to what the ministers are saying. And most important, read the Bible.Stay connected to its author. He created us, and He knows what’s best for us.
And when one day our stay in this planet is over, perhaps the best sign that could speak of us is an arrow that points towards heaven. In the end, that is all that matters in life.
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