Food and Nutrition
14 Worst Desserts in America
14. Worst "Healthy" Packaged Dessert: Tofutti Vanilla (1/2 cup)
The label touts the fact that Tofutti has no butterfat and no cholesterol. While these claims are technically true (Tofutti is not made from dairy, so by definition it can’t have butterfat or cholesterol), they might as well advertise “no razor blades inside!” Because touting what’s not in this product simply obscures the truth about what is: Tofutti is as loaded with fat and sugar as most full-fledged ice creams. (It also has about 10 ingredients too many, including a big helping of corn oil.) If you’re looking for an honest, low-calorie nondairy ice cream, stick with It’s Soy Delicious; their whole line of products is great, and you’ll cut your calorie intake nearly in half.
Eat This Instead!
It’s Soy Delicious Vanilla (½ cup)
13. Worst Supermarket Ice Cream: Häagen-Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter (1/2 cup)
Häagen-Dazs produces their ice creams using only a few simple ingredients; problem is, those ingredients are heavy cream, egg yolks, and sugar, making their ice creams consistently the most calorie-dense in the freezer section. This peanut-butter blast to your gut takes the cake—literally—packing an astounding 1,440 calories into every pint-size carton. Compare it with what Breyers has to offer, for a third of the calories. Wouldn’t you rather have dessert three times, instead of just once? You can, if you make the right choice.
Eat This Instead!
Breyers All Natural Vanilla and Chocolate
12. Worst Frozen Treat: Toll House Ice Cream Chocolate Chip Cookie Sandwich
Considering so few frozen ice cream treats creep above the 300-calorie threshold, we’re astounded that Nestlé stuffs this sandwich with nearly as many calories as a Big Mac. You can have 2 Toll House Chocolate Chunk cookies and a scoop of Breyers All Natural Vanilla ice cream and still save 110 calories. Or you could just switch to the Oreo option and use the 340 calories you save on something better.
Eat This Instead!
Breyers Oreo Ice Cream Sandwich
11. Worst Pastry: Hostess Chocolate Pudding Pie
This is the type of snack you pick up at a gas station in a pinch and feel vaguely guilty about, not knowing that you just managed to ingest nearly three-quarters of a day’s worth of saturated fat before your tank finished filling up. And considering these little packages of doom cost a buck or less across the country, the pudding pie qualifies as one of the cheapest sources of empty calories in America.
Eat This Instead!
Lärabar Jacalat Chocolate Coffee (1 bar)
10. Worst Hot Chocolate: Starbucks Venti Whole Milk Salted Caramel Signature Hot Chocolate (20 ounces)
Since when did hot chocolate require salt and caramel to meet the expectations of consumers? Seems a bit gratuitous, no? Thanks to Starbucks’ monstrous creation, the classic winter comfort beverage is now sullied with more than a full day’s worth of saturated fat and as much sugar as nearly 4 Hershey’s chocolate bars.
Drink This Instead!
Caramel Macchiato (20 ounces)
9. Worst Kids' Dessert: Outback Steakhouse Spotted Dog Sundae with Chocolate Sauce and Oreo Crumbles
Consider the repercussions of slapping three Baby Ruth bars’ worth of fat and sugar onto the end of your child’s meal. Weighing in at nearly an astounding thousand calories, this abominable sundae is twice as caloric as his entire meal should be. The adult portion of cheesecake is not only a superior alternative, but it's one of the most moderate restaurant slices we've seen overall.
Drink This Instead!
Classic Cheesecake
8. Worst Mall Dessert: Cinnabon Regular Caramel Pecanbun
This isn’t breakfast, this is dessert. And an atrocious one at that. There are dozens of ways to curb a sweets craving at the mall, but your sugar fix should never climb above 400 calories. The only speck of nutrition to be found in the bun comes from the nuts. Too bad they’re coated in a river of sugar. Go with the Auntie Anne’s pretzel and save 730 calories, 55 g fat and 10 bacon strips’ worth of saturated fat.
Eat This Instead!
Auntie Anne’s Cinnamon Sugar Pretzel (no butter)
7. Worst Drive-Thru Dessert: Turtle Pecan Cluster Blizzard (Large)
The decadent offerings at DQ span the nutritional spectrum, ranging from smart indulgences to caloric catastrophes and everything in between. So choose wisely or you’ll end up wolfing down three-fourths of your daily caloric allotment without ever leaving the driver’s seat. Being smart at DQ means skipping over the malts and Blizzards entirely and opting instead for a relatively restrained sundae. Stick to a small and you can have any flavor your hungry heart desires.
Eat This Instead!
Small Caramel Sundae
6. Worst Shake: Jamba Juice Peanut Butter Moo’d (Power)
The scary thing about this 30-ounce shake is that you can consume more than half a day’s worth of calories in 3 minutes of spirited sipping, all under the pseudohealthy banner of the sacred smoothie. What’s even scarier is you’ll be slurping up the sugar equivalent of 8 packs of peanut M&M’s, all while thinking you’re doing your body a favor. Though no mall food packs more calories, the Moo’d at least offers a touch of nutrition (unlike the dreaded Pecanbun) in the form of peanut butter’s protein and healthy fat. Still, don’t mistake it for anything other than a serious threat to your waistline. When at Jamba, stick to their impressive list of smoothies in the All Fruit and Light categories.
Drink This Instead!
Mango Mantra (16 ounces)
5. Worst Pie: Red Robin Mountain High Mudd Pie
Red Robin’s Jackson Pollock imitation suffers from the disease afflicting all too many restaurant desserts in this country: gigantism. Split among 4 forks, it would still ruin even the healthiest meal eaten before it. You’d be better off eating 9 scoops of Breyers All Natural Rocky Road ice cream. But choose the Chili’s Sweet Shot and save 57 g of fat! In fact, you could knock back 5 shots of key lime pie and still cut calories and fat.
Eat This Instead!
Birthday Sundae
4. Worst Cake: California Pizza Kitchen Butter Cake a la Haagen Dazs
This fat-packed mega-cake accounts for two-thirds of your daily calories and three days' worth of saturated fat. (Just sit and digest that statistic for a second.) The dessert menu at California Pizza Kitchen isn’t great, but if you split the apple crisp with a friend, you could eat a delicious dessert without bursting from your pants when you’re done.
Eat This Instead!
Apple Crisp (1/2)
3. Worst Chocolate Dessert: Chili’s Chocolate Chip Paradise Pie
Nobody would ever consider capping a meal with a couple of Big Macs, so why would they order a slice of this stuff? When choosing dessert at Chili’s, the safest option is the chocolate shake, which should still only be ordered with the intent to share.
Eat This Instead!
Frosty Chocolate Shake (1/2)
2. Worst Sundae: Friendly's Hunka Chunka PB Fudge Lava Cake Sundae
1,770 calories, 107 g fat (36 g saturated), 112 g sugars, 164 g carbohydrates
Warning: Not a single sundae from Friendly's contains less than 500 calories. Furthermore, anything with chocolate that can be sucked through a straw should be avoided at all costs. That means the only real viable route at the popular dessert parlor is to stick with a single scoop of ice cream.
Eat This Instead!
Hunka Chunka PB Fudge ice cream (1 scoop)
1. Worst Dessert in America: Uno Chicago Grill's Mega-Sized Deep Dish Sundae
2,800 calories, 136 g fat (72 g saturated), 1,240 mg sodium, 380 g carbohydrates
Considering the fact that Uno’s savory menu is already
cluttered with one of the country’s most potent arrays of calorie, fat,
and sodium bombs, its lineup of destructive desserts only adds insult to
injury. To be fair, this sundae is intended to be shared, but that
doesn't excuse the fact that one order contains more fat than four
entire thin crust Cheese & Tomato pies.
Thanks for reading!
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