Today's Career Tips
July 15, 2012
By: NELSON T. DY
Imagine a fresh college graduate trumpeting “Look out, world, here I come!” and the world retorts, “Why, who are you?”
When someone has just entered the work force, he soon discovers that he is essentially starting from zero. He may have been popular at the campus. He may have garnered high academic honors. But at the office, he is now simply a new face, unknown and untested. He feels the pressure to prove his worth, to make a name for himself or in the local language “magpakitang gilas.”
In one sense, this is good. We all yearn to be recognized. We want to point to something and say, “See? I did that.” But in another sense, it can sabotage our career at its tender early stage. Someone hungry for fame (not to mention fortune) may come across as arrogant or unknowingly violate some corporate protocol.
At the root of this drive is a search for identity. Since work takes a large chunk of our waking time and involves tangible measurements, it is no wonder that many people derive their self-worth from their career. Besides, much conversation revolves around work. Consider how people are usually introduced in social events, “Hi, Jeff. I’d like you to meet Mark. Mark’s a real estate broker.” If Mark were jobless, the encounter proves awkward.
This quest for identity is not confined to youth, as anyone struggling with a mid-life crisis can attest. The perennial question “Who am I?” can very well be rephrased “What defines me? What really gives me meaning?” or how we perceive ourselves, shape our thinking, our behavior and eventually, our destiny. This two-part series aims to spur insightful thinking and maybe even some constructive debate. Part 1 explores what should not define us, while Part 2 offers what should.
Imagine a fresh college graduate trumpeting “Look out, world, here I come!” and the world retorts, “Why, who are you?”
When someone has just entered the work force, he soon discovers that he is essentially starting from zero. He may have been popular at the campus. He may have garnered high academic honors. But at the office, he is now simply a new face, unknown and untested. He feels the pressure to prove his worth, to make a name for himself or in the local language “magpakitang gilas.”
In one sense, this is good. We all yearn to be recognized. We want to point to something and say, “See? I did that.” But in another sense, it can sabotage our career at its tender early stage. Someone hungry for fame (not to mention fortune) may come across as arrogant or unknowingly violate some corporate protocol.
At the root of this drive is a search for identity. Since work takes a large chunk of our waking time and involves tangible measurements, it is no wonder that many people derive their self-worth from their career. Besides, much conversation revolves around work. Consider how people are usually introduced in social events, “Hi, Jeff. I’d like you to meet Mark. Mark’s a real estate broker.” If Mark were jobless, the encounter proves awkward.
This quest for identity is not confined to youth, as anyone struggling with a mid-life crisis can attest. The perennial question “Who am I?” can very well be rephrased “What defines me? What really gives me meaning?” or how we perceive ourselves, shape our thinking, our behavior and eventually, our destiny. This two-part series aims to spur insightful thinking and maybe even some constructive debate. Part 1 explores what should not define us, while Part 2 offers what should.
Don’t let your work define you
It has been tough
for Carlos. A year after getting his diploma, he is still unemployed. He
submitted his share of applications, but he didn’t get even a nibble of
interest from prospective employers. He mopes around the house like a
walking dark cloud of depression. “What’s wrong with me?” he silently
wails, “Why doesn’t anyone want me?”
Do you get that part? “What’s wrong with me,” and “Why doesn’t anybody want me?” Deep down inside, many people equate being hired as being accepted as a person. Landing a job is a joyous event— and it should be— because it means that someone saw something valuable inside us. It also means that someone took a chance on us and is investing time and money in our professional development.
A job, therefore, heralds that we have worth. We are somebody, not nobodies. That makes us feel good. But to let our job define us is a double-edged sword. One feels secure and significant as long as he holds that job. But when he loses that job due to corporate restructuring, a bad economy or plain unsatisfactory performance, then he feels like the solid ground beneath his feet has turned to quicksand. This should lead us to conclude that career should not be the primary basis of our self-worth.
Do you get that part? “What’s wrong with me,” and “Why doesn’t anybody want me?” Deep down inside, many people equate being hired as being accepted as a person. Landing a job is a joyous event— and it should be— because it means that someone saw something valuable inside us. It also means that someone took a chance on us and is investing time and money in our professional development.
A job, therefore, heralds that we have worth. We are somebody, not nobodies. That makes us feel good. But to let our job define us is a double-edged sword. One feels secure and significant as long as he holds that job. But when he loses that job due to corporate restructuring, a bad economy or plain unsatisfactory performance, then he feels like the solid ground beneath his feet has turned to quicksand. This should lead us to conclude that career should not be the primary basis of our self-worth.
Don’t let possessions define you
As I
mentioned, our career can shape our self-image because there are
tangible evidence of success. After all, who can argue with the name of
our alma mater, the size of our paychecks, the model of the car we
drive, the neighborhood we live in, and the location of our office?
I once read the slogan, “The one with the most toys wins.” To which, I ask “Wins what?” Certainly there is nothing wrong with possessions per se. We ought to enjoy the fruits of our labors, whether it is a necessity like food on the table or a luxury like that fancy new gadget. We also delight in providing our loved ones with the finer things in life.
But when we harbor the notion, “I am only as good as what I own” then we are resting our self-image in unstable waters. Beware of the mindset “I have lots of stuff – I must be really good,” and its demoralizing counterpart “I only have a little, I am such a failure.” Think how crushed such a person would be if a fire were to ravage his house and all what he treasures.
Jesus Christ said it well, “A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15). Many people have accumulated a lot of wealth but remain unhappy. They ask “Is this all there is in life?” It gets worse when the pursuit of the “most toys” came at the price of damaged health, sullied integrity and broken relationships.
I once read the slogan, “The one with the most toys wins.” To which, I ask “Wins what?” Certainly there is nothing wrong with possessions per se. We ought to enjoy the fruits of our labors, whether it is a necessity like food on the table or a luxury like that fancy new gadget. We also delight in providing our loved ones with the finer things in life.
But when we harbor the notion, “I am only as good as what I own” then we are resting our self-image in unstable waters. Beware of the mindset “I have lots of stuff – I must be really good,” and its demoralizing counterpart “I only have a little, I am such a failure.” Think how crushed such a person would be if a fire were to ravage his house and all what he treasures.
Jesus Christ said it well, “A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15). Many people have accumulated a lot of wealth but remain unhappy. They ask “Is this all there is in life?” It gets worse when the pursuit of the “most toys” came at the price of damaged health, sullied integrity and broken relationships.
Don’t let failure define you
This
is the opposite end of the spectrum. Just as career and success should
not provide our primary identity, so shouldn’t failure. Many are beating
themselves up for a career decision they felt they should not have
made, or kicking themselves for letting their bosses or co-workers down.
Carlos saw himself as a failure in not being employed. His self-esteem
is grinded away by days of monotonous non-productivity.
A helpful change in thinking goes like this, “I am not a failure. I am a person who has failed.” We all have intrinsic value as people created in the image of God. While it is easier said than done, we should learn to keep our self-worth intact, separate from our circumstances such as whether we got the big bucks or got dirt poor.
If we are haunted by our failures, then what should define us? I will offer some solutions in next week’s article.
More career tips can be found in Nelson T. Dy’s book Your First Job: A Practical Guide for Success. Give your just-graduated friends and loved ones a great gift with this book that’s full of insights from seasoned Filipino executives. Comment or questions are welcome via nelson_dy@hotmail.com.
A helpful change in thinking goes like this, “I am not a failure. I am a person who has failed.” We all have intrinsic value as people created in the image of God. While it is easier said than done, we should learn to keep our self-worth intact, separate from our circumstances such as whether we got the big bucks or got dirt poor.
If we are haunted by our failures, then what should define us? I will offer some solutions in next week’s article.
More career tips can be found in Nelson T. Dy’s book Your First Job: A Practical Guide for Success. Give your just-graduated friends and loved ones a great gift with this book that’s full of insights from seasoned Filipino executives. Comment or questions are welcome via nelson_dy@hotmail.com.
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