Thursday, August 2, 2012

Don't Put These Things On Your Resume

Being honest on your resume doesn’t mean having to write a tell-all expose including the number of times you’ve peed in a public pool. Here are tips on what you don’t need to have on your resume.

 

1. Unnecessary Ideological Information 

 

Want to shout out to the world your religious or political views? Maybe not in your resume. In fact, mentioning either puts the hirer in a tough spot. Especially if the company is American. 

American companies are subject to American labor law [even when operating outside the US]. They have strict anti-discrimination policies. So when you bring up such issues, the hiring manager starts to squirm. Suddenly, interviewing you seems as comfortable as telling gay jokes on the evening news.

Also, if the hirer interviews and rejects you, are you going to accuse them of doing it because you’re Catholic, Muslim, or watch Michael Moore docus? They’re not taking that chance.

Include a strong statement of your beliefs, and the hirer will develop an equally strong aversion to your phone number.

 

2. Tales of Your Exciting Student Years

If it happened before you were 16, think before putting it on your resume. It had better be on par with “At 14, I taught myself French with nothing but a dictionary and a DVD of Vivre Pour Vivre.”

If you’re fresh out of school and never had a job, it’s excusable. But if you’ve been working more than three years, mentioning your boy scout merits is just pathetic. The hirer will assume you have no serious accomplishments, and that your best years ended after winning a smiley face in the Primary School science fair.

Besides, most hirers gloss over such details. As if they can be bothered calling your old principal to check.
 


3. How Much Money You Want

A good salesman doesn’t open with the price. You want the hirer to be all psyched up, before you start talking pesos.

If you make it to the interview, you can at least negotiate. But if you give your quote early, your resume might go straight to the trashcan.

Try to hold off on salary discussions until you’re asked. If you must indicate your price, give a range. Most hirers will pick something in the middle. A better idea is to describe your expected pay without numbers. You could expect “entry level pay”, for example.

 

4. Confidential Information From Your Previous Job

Never betray your former employer’s confidence. Don’t mention their trade secrets, inside dealings, or work processes.

Otherwise, under “known conditions” your hirer is going to write “a big mouth”. Which, as far as they’re concerned, is incurable. This is a trust issue: Revealing confidential information suggests you lack integrity. What’s to say that, if they hire you, their multi-million dollar research won’t end up on Gizmodo’s front page?

Besides, think of the legal ramifications. Do you know what happens if your former employer finds out? You may as well scrawl “sue me” on your cover letter.

 

5. Corporate Speak

It’s great that you improved efficiency in your old workplace. It’s not so great when you describe it as “re-contextualizing a saturated praxis”.

If your resume reads like management textbook, maybe you ought to go write one instead. Because you won’t be getting that job. Hirers get suspicious of people who use corporate speak; it suggests you’re pretentious and obscure. At the very least, you might be an ivory tower graduate.

A bit of corporate jargon is fine, but your resume shouldn’t make the hirer frown and ask: “Are these all real words?”

 

6. Any Pictures Other Than Your Head Shot

This photo might look good in your Facebook page, but not in your resume. Actually, you don’t even need a head shot these days. The only companies that want a lot of pictures are modeling agencies, retail outlets, and types of businesses I’m not allowed to discuss here.

Including a full body picture of yourself, or a range of pictures, is tacky. Like you copy-pasted your Facebook page on their screen. Besides, think of how the hirer feels: If the only six-pack you have is in your fridge, it’s merely embarrassing. If you’re certifiably hot, they’ll be accused of hiring you for your appearance. That’s not a spot you want to place anyone in.

Save the pictures for when they’re requested (and keep them professional).

 

 

1 comment:

  1. To response : '3. How Much Money You Want"

    I would first ask, how much job is offering or what is the salary range for ------post.






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