The destructive power of 'they'
By Francis J. Kong (The Philippine Star)
Updated January 29, 2012
Panting and sweating, two men on a tandem bicycle finally made it to the top of a steep hill.
“That has got to be the toughest climb ever,” said the front rider.
“Sure was,” replied the second, “And if I hadn’t kept the rear brake on the whole time, we might have slid back down, backwards!”
If there is that one word that has caused counter-productiveness in any organization, one word that has put on the brakes in achieving business results, it’s the word “THEY”!
I have been around business organizations -- from SMEs to the top 100 corporations in the country -- and I can easily spot one where teamwork is a challenge. It’s usually where one would almost always hear the people use the word “THEY”.
“They” is four-letter, monosyllabic word which can be highly problematic. Because “They” reflects an absence of unity. It can be symptomatic of the “Us”-vs.-“Them” mindset.
There seems to be a great divide among groups in business organizations, particularly between employees and upper management. Policies, causes, priorities, thoughts and beliefs can divide people in organizations rather than unite them; but even more divisive is the frequency of use of the word “THEY” in the work place, which communicates a lack of shared responsibility and prevalence of the Blame Game. This is a behavior so dangerous, it has the power to cause the eventual downfall of the whole team and even the whole organization.
Values-driven companies would do all they could to eliminate the “They” mindset and behavior from the corporate culture. The book, Walking The Talk Together by Eric Harvey and Al Lucia talks about this in a beautiful way:
Ever wonder who they are? They seem to be everywhere. They must be a big and powerful group with a great deal of influence, because we sure do talk about them a lot:
1. “They should know better!”
2. “That’s their problem!”
3. “They need to do something about this!”
4. “It’s all because of them!”
5. “They’re the ones who fouled things up!”
No need to ask if these sound familiar. Who among us hasn’t pointed a finger at them before?
“They” and “them” are common pronouns...part of normal, everyday speech. And when it comes to doing our jobs and walking the talk, they may be the absolute worst words in our language. Why? Just look at what “they” and “them” mean: OTHER PEOPLE, SOMEONE ELSE. You don’t have to be a genius to know that those words are dripping with non-responsibility.
Maybe it’s time we all did some word switching. Imagine what would happen – think of how our perspectives might change – if we stopped using “they,” “them,” and “their” altogether, and instead used “we,” “us,” and “our.” Let’s see…
1. “(They) We need to do something about this!”
2. “That’s (their) our problem!”
3. “It’s up to (them) us!”
4. “(They) We need to walk the talk.”
See and feel the difference? The next time you catch yourself starting to say or think the T-word (“they”), use “we” instead.
The first step in taking responsibility is acknowledging that WE have it. Pointing the finger at them probably is a waste of time anyway. We’re beginning to think they don’t exist. Every time we’ve gone looking for them, all we’ve found is US!
Lead well... LEAD RIGHT
When you come across a company where people use the words “WE” and “OUR”, then you know they are proud of their company and, in most likelihood, the organization is doing very well.
Isaac D’Israeli said, “It is a wretched taste to be gratified with mediocrity when the excellent lies before us.” And the excellent comes only when we take responsibility! We may hide it from men but how can you hide it from God who is in heaven?
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